We took a day to go over to the One and Only Ocean Club for lunch, spent a leisurely afternoon at the Atlantis beach bar, and then checked out the lagoon. It doesn't sound like much, but we're on a roll, so hang on....
Here's the Dog kickin' it at the Atlantis beach bar. With a Scotch? Hey, it's five o'clock SOMEWHERE!
These two well-endowed ladies seemed to be getting an extraordinary amount of attention.....
...so we sent The Dog, our "Player," down to investigate, to see if he could work some magic, and talk them into having a drink with us.
"My friend is taking pictures of you and is going to put them on a website that'll get millions of hits and make you World famous....."
Oh well, like ol' mama says, "The next best thing to playin' and winnin'....is playin' and losin'."
Over to the Lagoon, which is about 7 acres in size, over 500,000 gallons, and is just teaming with fish. I don't care what they say, there's NO WAY I would go snorkeling in this baby, no matter HOW well they're fed. Here's a 3 1/2 foot Great Barracuda. They'll grow to 6 feet and while they have a fiercer reputation than probably deserved, they have been known to bite, normally when someone has jewelry on that reflects like a small fish. The Filefish swim right in front of his mouth, knowing the 'Cuda wouldn't dare bite them with their sharp, pointed and spiny dorsal fin.
On the other hand, what do you call a small school of Porkfish hanging out right below a Barracuda?
A) Brave. B) Stupid. C) Lunch. D) All of the above.
"I'll take 'D' Bob."
It's always best to stay away from the business end of any 'Cuda.
An Atlantic Longnose Sawfish lazily cruises along. He's about 10 feet long. These guys are protected from fishing because their reproduction cycle is slower than their swim. They're also so prehistoric, such an easy catch, and fabulous eating, they'd be fished to extinction in no time. This guy won't harm you, unless you scare him while he's close, and he rakes you with those teeth. He'd prefer to casually cruise into a school of small fish, where he thrashes that baby around and takes down dinner.
Now THIS guy on the other hand...Check out the baby Tiger shark. He's probably just a year old. Maybe 4-5 feet feet long, but that head is already almost a foot wide.
Even a baby this size, in this shallow of water, could easily kill you. That fat head and powerful jaw with razor-sharp serrated teeth were designed to crush and cut right through turtle shells. but Tigers will eat ANYTHING they come across. Tigers are much more aggressive, fearless, and way less finicky than Great Whites, making them THE most dangerous shark in the World. About 50% of Great White attacks on humans prove fatal, with most of the victims succumbing to blood loss after the White has a taste, and decides the seal meat on the menu is less boney. On the other hand, about 80% of Tiger shark attacks are fatal, with many of the victims never being recovered, if you know what I mean. In about 30 years, this guy could be more than 20 feet long, and easily weigh well over 3,000 lbs. The record is 24 1/4 feet, and 6,842 pounds! That's as big as the Great White in "Jaws!" - "We're gonna need a BIGGER boat!"
Here's a full-grown 6 foot male Scalloped Hammerhead shark. The females grow twice as large, and can occasionally weigh as much as 1,000 lbs. While nowhere near as dangerous as the Tiger, you'd still be well advised to get out of the water when he comes around looking for a Stingray, Skate, Wrasse, Flounder...or foot.
Probably one of the most unique, beautiful, and recognizable images in all of nature coming right at you. Slinking along the bottom, the Hammerhead uses it's wide head full of sensitive receptors to detect prey hidden under the sand like a mine sweeper. Stingrays, Skates, Wrasses, and Flounders are the mines. The Hammerhead diffuses them by using his wide head to quickly dig them up, and then to hold them down while taking fatal bites.
Hammerheads are solitary hunters. You would be too, since Hammerheads are known to be cannibalistic. Yes, they do "hook up" in large groups to breed, but pups are born live, and are instantly self-sufficient.
A Yellow Stingray moving along quite quickly, in the OPPOSITE direction of the Hammerhead! Yellow Stingrays are members of the Bat ray family, and do not bury themselves in the sand, and are therefore relatively safe from Hammerheads. That's relative to how ANYTHING is safe from a Hammerhead, which is, ahhh...not very. It'd keep swimming too buddy.
Hello Mr. Turtle. If I were you, I'd move to a new lagoon before Mr. Tiger Shark grows big enough to turn you into lunch.
This is a Caribbean Reef Shark. They are very common throughout the Bahamas. They grow to about 8-9 feet and can weigh 200 lbs. When they are cruising like this, they pose almost no danger to man. If they feel threatened and hunch their back, while extending their pectoral fins downward, OR if they are feeding, they can be quite dangerous and even deadly. These sharks are probably the species most susceptible to being worked into a "feeding frenzy" when several of them start to get frisky around a food source.
Back at the Gilly Too, Seadog knows all about "sharks," so instead he accesses the internet, and accesses the Scotch bottle conveniently stashed on board of course. Capt'n Henchy accesses some vitamin fortified grape juice.
"Capt'n Henchy, why do diesels like their oil?"
"It's like, why do sailors like their grog? No one really knows." Cheers mates!
OK, after a fabulous Lobster dinner prepared by Capt'n Henchy, we were off to the casino for another night of fun. Since we don't want to give away our trade secrets, (and because the Atlantis forbids pictures in the casino,) there are no photos of us winning enough money to dramatically improve the U.S.-Bahamian balance of payments.