Lynx Photonic Networks Throws WILD Holiday Bash!
HenchPAC Exclusive!
12/16/00
Many thanks to Michael and Genevieve Leigh for their fabulous hospitality. It couldn't have been a nicer evening. Wild boast, you say? Well, I have the pictures to prove it!
I slipped in at 6pm sharp, after catching and then following Jeff and Sherry Schoenwald up the hill to the top of the World. Selflessly, Jeff drove past the entrance, allowing me to proceed up the drive, only to find that everyone else had arrived at the same time. Quick reactions allowed me to grab a prime parking spot, and loaded with camera, a bottle of bubbly for our hosts, and some freshly tapped beer for myself and anyone else who might be interested, it was off to the party!
I quickly got down to business, which means I quickly downed a beer, and started shooting. (Photos, this isn't the post office!)
Here's a picture of Kelly Williams after she got a glass of wine, but before she drank it. As you'll see from the later photos, her attitude improved dramatically with the accumulation of necessary burgundy fluids. (to match her top.) That's Dick Sadai and Abe Quellar on her right in the background, Lynn Long with her back to you in the green jacket, and John Earl with the brand new looking shirt and tie.
Here, I'll show you the proof:
Wine absorbed, high-tech toy in hand, Kelly's smile starts to break out. John lends his technical expertise to the art of digital photography while Angela shows a modicum of concern for my flashbulb.
The "Camera Wars" have begun!
Damn, I just got "Out Pixeled!" That "Cat that ate the canary" look on Mr. Earl's face is because he knows Ms. Williams' camera has more punch than mine, and he is displaying GREAT satisfaction because....
HE BOUGHT IT!
Abe doesn't care, he's more than willing to have his picture taken by the "Pixel Challenged" camera. Photographic proof that Kelly's wine has worn off, or maybe just a hint of jealously that Abe is posing for ME?
This is a view from the Leighs' balcony. Yes, that's the ocean, Santa Monica, LAX, and points beyond in the background, the UFO's are actually a couple Patriot missiles Michael launched to fend off some incoming Scuds.
Here are Chris, Nancy, and Nancy, having to endure another ferocious California winter evening. Don't you feel sorry for them?
Hey, wait a minute John, you're posing for TWO pictures at once?
Now, THAT'S what I call "Multi-tasking!" (Hey Angela, he's looking at MY camera!) Lynn turns her back on me, pretending to talk to Ernie & Heidi Hutchins.
Here the Schoenwalds and Ms. Green strut their photogenic qualities. That's Dick Sadai talking to Michael in the background, right before he "Crashed" the party!
Hal, Connie, Joni and Morrie make their entrance! Hal kept asking me if the Leighs needed a tenant while they were away.
Here are a few shots of us stuffing our tummies with ALL kinds of goodies, thanks to the Leighs and Bruno's fine staff. That's Glen on the far right, explaining to Denise how chads "hang."
That's Genenieve on the left in the turquoise top, I TOTALLY fumbled on my other photos of her, my humble apologies to our gracious hostess. Excusez-moi madame!
And here's Bruno and his crew, these guys were cool, spoke French, and whew, can they cook!
Looks pretty tasty huh? Let me be the first to report......IT WAS! (Especially the quail stuffed with foie gras, the haricots vert, and the chocolate eclairs!)
O.K., check this out: President Leigh displaying his credentials! Do I detect an extra ballot stuffed in that passport? Time for ANOTHER re-count!
Rebecca seemed a little camera shy......NOT!
Check it out, at THIS party, people got into the "proper spirits" .......
BOO!
Michael begins the tension filled, big dollar prizes, Lynx PN Comedy Awards Ceremony:
The jokes were submitted, then they were read, then everyone laughed...,
Is that a puddle underneath Ernie?
Somebody, get Hal a tissue!
...and then we voted...
.....And after numerous predictions by many major media news outlets, extremely in-accurate exit polling, a constant influx of political pundits declaring a trend towards a winner, returns being processed by the latest in Cray supercomputers, and MASSIVE protests and riots by the factions supporting one joke candidate or another, the results were totally clear:
The "Anonymously Submitted" "Hello mom, can you hear me?" joke started out with a STRONG lead, and in fact, many media outlets early in the evening predicted an outright landslide for this joke. Only later in the night did it become apparent that Boaz Ben Michael's "Superman" joke was gaining fast as absentee ballots and the speculated "intent" of under votes were included. Despite this late surge, "Anonymous" was still ahead by a few votes when the evening was up. However, it came to light that a number of uncounted Boaz ballots had pregnant, dimpled, or hanging chads, and after a careful examination of all these "chad" ballots, it was concluded that prior to the certification of a winner, we would have to have a complete RECOUNT of the votes. Of course, this was to be done in the fairest of all methods, by having the highly regarded, absolutely trustworthy, and COMPLETELY impartial Information Systems people (Ernie and Hench) recount the votes in a totally un-biased, objective, and irreproachable manner. (Behind closed doors, in cahoots, and using software written by Boaz!)
Here are the preliminary results of the recount:
Original balloting: 34 registered voters: 17 "Anonymous" 17 "Superman"
First Recount: 34 registered voters: 18 "Anonymous" 16 "Superman"
Second Recount: (After software "bug" removed) 34 registered voters: 17 "Anonymous" 17 "Superman"
Third Recount: (After additional software "upgrade") 34 registered voters: 1 "Anonymous" 4,322 "Superman"
And then we stopped counting. After all, we couldn't have "Anonymous" win. Ah, er, ah, I mean, ah, we couldn't simply "disenfranchise" Boaz voters right? Yeah, THAT'S what I meant!
So there you have it. The Constitution was protected, the voters spoke, and the will of the people was upheld. Isn't that what Democracy in a Republic is all about?
Well, hang on to your hanging chads! It seems "Anonymous" has filed an appeal with the Supreme Court, and as soon as the pending discovery, depositions, hearings, injunctions, orders, motions, stays, summary dismissals, issue separations, subpoenas, declarations, stipulations, oral arguments, oral sex, (how'd THAT get in there?) rulings and contests are completed, we will immediately allow Michael to declare the winner. Isn't America great?
You needed a chainsaw to cut the voters' tension! Wake up Shira! This is important! Hey Abe, DON'T tickle the neck, unless you want a lap FULL of beverage!
O.K. back to the party.....
This crowd of Nancy, Nancy and Chris LOOKS like they've drained the bar, but it's simply a Photonic optical illusion......
It's actually Dave's (in the background) fault! (Just kidding Dave, but what's REALLY in that coffee cup?)
Nice work Abe. Woke them all up, and didn't have to wear any of their beverages!
Well, I have to say, it was more fun than a barrel of unmarked ballots. I left at 11:20 pm, and the party was still going.
Thanks again to Bruno and the guys, for whipping up an incredible meal at the top of the World.
But the biggest thanks go to Michael and Genevieve for a FABULOUS evening. Being a simple consultant, they had no obligation or even reason to invite me, other than their supreme kindness. The pictures simply don't do justice to their beautiful home and INCREDIBLE view! Not only that, but the drive to and fro is a real ripper!
Happy Holidays to everyone at Lynx Photonic Networks, and all their associates.....HENCH