HENCH's Most Excellent Florida Adventure

 

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07/14/02

Bastille Day. How do we pay homage to our "friends" from across the sea? By completely ignoring them, just like they do to American tourists who fund their silly-socialist economy. Yep, we failed to celebrate, purchase or consume anything French, or even mention Bastille Day, France or "surrender monkey" during the entire day. Why, you ask? Because we were having too much fun cruising the river and canals of Fort Lauderdale in the Gilly Too, stopping for lunch and drinks at the Bimini Boatyard. We then flew to Jacksonville that evening, and had dinner at the always lively First Street Grill right on the beach. OK, to make the French feel better, we did order some french fries.

Here's Captain Henchy piloting the Gilly Too with Captain Dick Betts at his side. Dick's a great guy from England who is a professional captain of many years, and he's a lot of fun too!

Here we are up top just idling down the river on our way to lunch.

There are many beautiful (expensive) homes on the river in Fort Lauderdale, complete with docks for their boats and toys.

We're now coming up on one of the many drawbridges on the river, it's great fun to hear Captain Henchy call in "Davey Street bridge, this is the motor yacht Gilly Too, requesting an opening," and watch them stop traffic and raise the bridge for us to go under. The Gilly Too is about 25 feet tall above the water, so all the bridges have to open for us.

 

Here's one for us rail fans! They have several rail bridges they have to raise for us as well! Now we're having fun!

Here we go....

Now THERE's a sight you don't see every day, a 53' DeFever crossing the railroad tracks!

I think this is the Andrews Street bridge we're coming up on here.

 

....and we're into the harbor entrance. We're going to park just to the left at a nice little bar and grill and watch the boats go by. We'll be able to see the boats on the right from the view.

There's the Sea Escape, the "boat to nowhere." They load it up with people each night, take them out beyond the U.S. boundary, and let them gamble and drink (or is it drink and gamble?) and then bring them back in. The locals call it the "Booze Cruise."

 

 

OK, check this baby out. They say every boat has a story, so I'm going to make one up for this dry-rot rust-bucket. Let's call her owner Joe.

Enter Joe's new neighbor, we'll call him Sam. Joe used to have a really peaceful life, with quiet, clean neighbors who were friendly, but not too friendly. Well, that ended when Sam moved in. Sam is some jerk from some backwater Georgia swamp town who inherited a ton of money when he was 16, at which point he quit school (because he already knew everything) and has spent the last twenty years spending it in loud, obnoxious ways, all while his personality sucked the loud and obnoxious out of each purchase. Hell, he even painted the house neon turquoise to match the wave runner he bought that has a siren and strobe light on it. He's the type that every time he sees you in your yard doing anything, he immediately comes over and tells you that you're doing it wrong, and then starts telling you about the new loud, obnoxious purchase he made.

 

Now, enter Sam's new boat, the "Sea Dragon," complete with loud colored toys, loud stereo blasting such classics as Journey and Boston, and of course, Sam and his similarly loud and obnoxious friends. It's a dragon with bad breath and maners to match.

What does this have to do with our friend Joe's boat, about which we started the story? Well, about a week after Sam moved in, Joe bought this rat-invested, oil-slick leaking tub and parked it as close to Sam's end of the dock as possible. He then put a whole side of beef and a bunch of fish in the onboard freezer, and promptly turned the freezer off. With an average temp of 80, and the prevailing tide and breeze, this baby fouls Sam's boat and toys with oil, fouls Sam and his friends with it's smell, and blocks Sam's view up the river from his master bedroom. The REAL win though? Sam NEVER speaks to Joe any more. Sometimes, life IS good!

More scenic homes and docks.

 

You can't see it, but this is a beautifully restored and updated older boat. And you have to love a guy who obviously prides in being called "Mr. Red Stripe" that's some kick-@$$ strong brew!

There were some AMAZING boats in the yard getting updates/paint/work.

 

This is a sad story. This boat was literally done after a multi-million dollar update/overhaul/interior/paint when it caught fire and is a total loss.

 

 

 

My guess is this sweet yacht "Life's Finest" is Joe's other boat that he keeps just down the street at the marina, for quicker access to the sea, and to stay away from Sam.

 

Here's the other rail bridge we went through.

 

07-15-02

Sunrise on the beach in Jacksonville. This is the view from Captain Henchy's 14th floor deck.

 

OK West coasters, check this out. SunRISE on the beach.

Having enjoyed both, I'd have to say the Sunset is better. You can sit and watch it with a drink, instead of looking at it with your hangover.

 

 

This character is Matt Libby of Managed Health Funding. Check out their new server room. Hey Matt, where's the earthquake proofing on those servers?

07-17-02

We travel back to Fort Lauderdale to meet up with my "Uncle Bob" our good friend Robert Wallis.

"Welcome aboard, now where's the sailors' grog?"

 

As we take another cruise, this time to dock at the stylish Pier 66 marina, we come across another rail bridge.

OK Rail fans! Here we have a short stack commuter of the Tri-Rail lines, probably taking passengers to the cruise ships, or down to Miami Beach.

 

Now it's our turn. Yes, the trains have the right-of-way!

 

BIG discussion going on here.

Uncle Bob: "Captain Dick, why do diesels like their oil?"

Captain Dick: "Hmmm, it's like, why do sailors like their rum? No one really knows!"

 

I know, it's not the "Life's Finest", but at least it's not Joe's tub, and it's the same model boat that Uncle Bob has on the Sacramento delta.

This cute little place is on the end of the street, has a 270 degree dock and view, and probably 10,000 square feet, all with some view. The only view that is NOT good is the price tag.

Here we are docked at the Pier 66 marina, at the Bar&Grill, overlooking the boats I mentioned earlier. Yes, that's a Kalik beer Hench is draining.

 

Grande Oaks Golf Club. This place is SWEET. From the valets, to the private locker room, to the lunch menus with our names on it. But the sweetest thing was the course, absolutely beautiful, with stunning views like this on virtually every hole, and huge old oaks that are gorgeous to look at, and deadly to get your ball near. This hole has a split fairway, Captain Henchy and "Wally" played to the left, while Hench boldly (and successfully) played to the right side. The 18th has a twin green, split by a HUGE oak, with a water carry to each side. HENCH rating 9.5

 

My flash wouldn't cooperate, but you can get the idea....

 

 

Here's the clubhouse as you drive up.

 

Here's the Gilly Too docked at Pier 66.

 

Here we go up the elevator to the top of the Pier 66 hotel bar.

Right next to the green roofed building is the Gilly Too.

 

There's the "Booze Cruise" getting ready for another run.

And the docks...

If you went straight in this direction, the next place you'd hit would be the south coast of Africa in about 3-4,000 miles.

"Sit down Wally, it doesn't matter where we sit, the whole floor spins once every 45 minutes."

...and there are some lovely views from up here as well.

 

Bob's happy now, he's not going to miss anything.

 

...Like this oil tanker coming into port.

Why is Bob mad? Because we've been here twenty seconds, and don't have a drink yet.

 

A small container ship heads out to sea, I wonder where it's next port will be?

A loaded tanker at the dock.

And some container cranes awaiting cargo.

We've spun around, and there goes the container ship.

 

They're just about ready to leave for "a three-hour cruise..."

 

You can just see another cruise ship pulling out behind the empty tanker at dock. On the right, WAY in the distance, you can see downtown Miami Beach.

 

 

I told Bob to suck in his gut so he'd look thinner, but he pushed it out instead, just to screw with me. So I just put the picture on a site that'll get millions of hits, and hosed his chances of ever getting a date. HA! Revenge is SO sweet! "It's not nice to fool with Brother Hench!"

OK, back from dinner, and it's time for a nightcap, since I'm leaving in the morning, and they're going to sail the boat to Nassau, Bahamas in the morning.

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.....HENCH